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Saturday, June 3, 2017

Pride Month Challenge - Day 3

This post is part of a series originally called "30 Day LGBT Challenge" which asks queer-related questions to be answered during Pride Month.  The original questions can be found here.

How old were you when you knew? What was that like for you?

Depends on what you mean by "knew."  At some point in my childhood I saw a talk show with a trans boy guest on it--as well as a very attractive adult trans man--and that show kind of planted the seed that it was something I'd want in the future.  I think I was like 10 or 11?  But I didn't actually think it was accessible to me, I assumed it would remain kind of a fantasy.

Late in my first year of college I was drawing self-portraits of myself in the lounge in my dorm and got this sort of odd sadness doing it; I started drawing facial hair on them and remembered how appealing the idea of transitioning was when I saw that talk show.  Within a couple of days I started exploring that option.

So I'd say, first inkling at 10 or 11 that was repressed until I was 18.

What was it like?  Eh.  It was a long time ago, I don't really remember.  Transitioning for me has become kind of like a job... it doesn't really bring me excitement so much as calm, and I don't remember (outside of certain milestones, like coming out or going on hormones) any strong feelings one way or another.