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Thursday, June 1, 2017

Pride Month Blog Challenge - Day 1

This post is part of a series originally called "30 Day LGBT Challenge" which asks queer-related questions to be answered during Pride Month.  The original questions can be found here.

Day 1: Your sexual orientation or gender identity. Be creative in your definition.

I am a trans man who is also queer, genderqueer, and queer-bodied.

I prefer "queer" because I don't identify with the concept of sexual orientation as a way of defining who I am attracted to.  Sexual orientation only describes what sex or gender you're interested in having a relationship with, which is an extremely limited way of gauging attraction.  This limitedness is how come you get so many people fretting that the label they use to describe their sexual orientation isn't adequate to what they're really attracted to, to the point where you get labels describing things that aren't actual sexual orientations being called "sexual orientations" anyway (things like vegansexual or sapiosexual).  So I'm just queer, letting people know that I'm not heterosexual but without fitting into that paradigm.

I do, however, use sexual orientation labels for simplicity's sake if I feel I need to.  When I come out to people at work, I call myself "bi."  I'll elaborate more if it comes up, but the reality is nobody in that environment needs to know the minutiae of any of this, and calling myself "bi" avoids that.  Similarly, I will call myself "pansexual" if I'm among people who know what the term means.  I don't really identify with it, either--an expansive sexual orientation is still a sexual orientation--but it at least lets people know that I'm open to all genders, which is important to me in contexts where I may be looking for partners.

I am genderqueer rather than nonbinary because I don't like the sanitized nature of the latter term.  I'll certainly use it for others and tolerate its use as an umbrella term including me, but I don't really use it for myself outside of that.  Essentially, I am a trans man whose gender expression and preferred physical body mix traits considered "feminine" or "women's" in a way I value rather than shun.  I'm not opposed to being called a man who was born a girl, a man with a women's reproductive system and hormonal profile,  or a combination of male and female... even though I do consider myself a man and not a woman and most of my expression matches that pretty well.

I am also genderqueer for spiritual reasons, namely as a way of honoring the men's mysteries I was adopted into while also honoring the women's mysteries aspects I thought I was obligated to give up.  I already wrote about this, though.

I am queer bodied because my body itself is one most would not expect, being itself a combination of masculine and feminine traits, and I do not seek to try forcing it to look as much like a cis man's as possible.

That's the gist of the whole thing... basically I'm a sexual and gender anarchist.

Happy trails,
-- Jackson